{"id":7115,"date":"2024-11-21T03:09:47","date_gmt":"2024-11-21T03:09:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/prrf.org\/?page_id=7115"},"modified":"2025-03-23T23:01:30","modified_gmt":"2025-03-23T23:01:30","slug":"family-dynamics","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/prrf.org\/zh\/parents\/family-dynamics\/","title":{"rendered":"Family Dynamics"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Family Dynamics<\/h1>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Navigating the Challenges and Strengthening Family Bonds<\/h2>\n

They call it the \u201cafter the diagnosis\u201d phase.\u00a0\u00a0Even today, almost 12 years ago, I still have a sinking feeling in my stomach as I remember the explanation the doctor gave to us about our son\u2019s diagnosis. I vividly remember the many different feelings and strong emotions exacerbated by confusion, frustration, and the feeling of helplessness.\u00a0\u00a0I remember panicking about what to do and that we were feeling all alone.\u00a0\u00a0You may remember or are going through these feelings right now.\u00a0\u00a0I wanted to write this article for you and to share that there are many sources of support and services for families of children who are visually impaired.\u00a0\u00a0I want to encourage you so that you know you are not alone and there are other parents and families out there who want to connect and partner with you as you start this new journey with your child and with your family.<\/p>\n

No matter what age your child is\u2026infant, toddler, pre-schooler, elementary age or teenager, the realization of visual impairment for your child is a shocking event for and your family.\u00a0\u00a0It affects all aspects of your family.\u00a0\u00a0Many people don’t realize that having a special needs child is a whole family impact. Many marriages fall apart because one or both of the parents become so hyper-focused on treatments, hopes for a cure, or even the daily tasks of meeting their child’s needs, that they forget they are a married couple. They forget to go out and have dates.\u00a0\u00a0We went years without doing anything special except focusing on our son\u2019s disability.\u00a0\u00a0Even when we would go out, we still spent most of the time talking and strategizing on what were the next steps. We would forget to go out and do things together, just as two people, rather than as two parents.<\/p>\n

This also affects other family members, specifically the siblings.\u00a0\u00a0The amount of time and energy that parents spend with their visually impaired child is huge.\u00a0\u00a0They are focused on teaching concepts which would otherwise be learned incidentally<\/a> or demonstrating self-care and home management skills.\u00a0\u00a0Also, they are continually addressing accessibility concerns, visiting specialists, and participating in educational planning meetings\u2014all so very necessary.\u00a0Let\u2019s not forget the innocent and concerned response to questions of neighbors, friends, and family members. Siblings can easily feel forgotten or valued less. Siblings can feel bitter or jealous. Sometimes, siblings can feel afraid or even embarrassed.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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There are 1st\u00a0and 2nd\u00a0order impacts.\u00a0\u00a0First off, we found that just the nature of the disability required significant attention and time towards our special-needs child and less time spent with siblings.\u00a0\u00a0This perceived difference in attention often manifests itself with the other siblings.\u00a0\u00a0The spectrum is wide \u2013 from \u201cacting out\u201d to grab additional attention to reclusion and depressed feelings, and requires significant parenting on top of the worries and concerns for the special-needs child.\u00a0\u00a0Some of the second order impacts we\u2019ve seen are in the areas of what I call family-security.\u00a0\u00a0Often, the children feel that this huge change in the family and the focus of the disability challenge the comfortable feelings of security that a child has in his home and in his family.\u00a0\u00a0Sometimes the siblings feel forgotten or overlooked.\u00a0\u00a0Teenager siblings may start to spend time with friends at school or outside the home where they can more easily feel engaged or \u201cneeded.\u201d<\/p>\n

Financial impacts within a special needs family also may exacerbate the family dynamics.\u00a0\u00a0Whether it\u2019s a financial \u201ctightening of the belt\u201d across the board or specific focus on necessary costs for the special need, the additional stress is huge not only between parents, but also felt across the whole family.\u00a0\u00a0Also, often times the helpful siblings are asked to carry a lot of the household responsibilities or workloads as they see their parents focused on the special needs of their brother or sister.\u00a0\u00a0While this is necessary and the teamwork of a family does bring close bonds, careful monitoring is important to ensure that the assisting siblings are thanked and encouraged for their \u201cextra\u201d help.<\/p>\n

While we are still on this journey and often struggle even after decade, we would never claim to be experts and I wanted to humbly share some thoughts that may help with these family dynamics:<\/p>\n